Eyes That See

“I Once Was Blind”

Chapter 2

As Gaby watched Jude pour wine into two glasses, she thought of her husband.  Josh was everything Jude was not.  Every characteristic and quality Jude had he used to manipulate people and serve his greed.

As she thought of Josh she experienced a swift and sudden change.  She had been thinking that Josh would forgive her for visiting Jude- as long as she did nothing wrong.  She now thought that just being there proved once again that she was unworthy of such a husband, and she began to fear that she might lose everything.  What if he divorced her and cut her off from seeing the kids?

The kids- there was another issue! Josh and Gaby had three kids: Joshua, Rendy, and Andy.  Joshua was definitely Josh’s, which is more than she could say for the other two.  She knew that Joshua was his because she had been faithful to him until after he had been born, and because he looked just like his daddy.  She wasn’t sure about Rendy, both because she had been with both men when she was conceived and because she resembled her mother more than either of the men.  Andy, however, was a big problem.  She cringed every time somebody pointed out how little Joshua and Andy looked like each other.  They resemble each other about as much as Josh and Jude do, she always thought to herself before pointing to their vague similarities.

When Jude handed her a wine glass it brought her back to the moment.  He gave her yet another compliment, accompanied by the twitch of his neck she knew so well- and despised.  He kept talking, but she stopped listening.  She was once again thinking about Josh.

While she had been counting on Josh’s forgiveness, she had in her mind a line which she had not yet crossed, and she was determined not to cross it.  But now, as she thought that Josh might be jealous and angry if he knew where she was, she saw in her mind a second line that had already been crossed.  As she had reckoned on his forgiveness, she thought she would lose nothing by approaching the first line.  Now, as she reckoned on his anger, she thought she had done enough to lose everything by having crossed the second line already.

Until now she had resisted Jude’s advances.  Condemning herself, and figuring that she was guilty and would lose everything anyway, she resisted no more.

That night, after Jude had gone out to “take care of some things,” Gaby once again cried herself to sleep in his bed.

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January 8, 2010 - Posted by | Uncategorized

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