Eyes That See

“I Once Was Blind”

When Family Values Go Out the Window.

What happens when family values go out the window? Well, let’s take a look at the state of Massachusetts, where family values have gone out the window. In Massachusetts, a 2nd grade teacher read a book about gay marriage to her students. I guess since Massachusetts was the first of the now six states in the union to allow gay marriage, this should have been expected. If gay marriage is legal, then what is the problem with a 2nd grade teacher reading a book about that issue to her students, right? Thus the slippery slope begins.

Family values out, anything goes is now in. This is what it looks like when family values are not protected. And when family values are not protected, it should not be unexpected when essential pieces of the family puzzle are no longer considered essential.

For instance, if a young girl wants to be a mother, should she not seek to prepare herself to be the best mother that she can be? Should she not seek to find a suitable husband and father of her children, with whom she can work to support and raise their children? However, once family values are out the window, sensible ideas like these go out the window with them. If a man is not an essential piece of the family puzzle, as he is clearly not when it is legal for two women to get married, then he is no longer essential in the minds of young heterosexual girls either.

So our young girl who wants to be a mother now no longer needs to find a suitable mate, one who will be committed to both her and their children until death do they part. All she needs is someone to help her procreate, so the characteristics of that helper become less important. Even a 24-year-old homeless man will do, apparently.

When family values go out the window, this happens.


June 24, 2008 - Posted by | Uncategorized


  1. I agree with the main point, however is it biblical for a woman to seek her husband?

    Comment by Nathan Hutain | June 24, 2008 | Reply

  2. That’s a good question, but not one that I really intended to bring up here. I think that I should have said “seek to find” rather than just “seek,” since that is what I had in mind.

    But, to tell you the truth, I haven’t really thought about that much. I read a book on courtship several months ago, and I think that it argued that the Bible promotes a courtship situation where the guy, the girl, and the girl’s father are all involved. That would probably be ideal, but I don’t know many (if any) girls whose fathers are active in what guys court their daughters and how they go about it.

    So in theory, no a girl should not seek her husband, the guy should court the girl through the girl’s father. But in practice (as in with most girls that I know), I would say that they should seek to find suitable husbands. I think it would be foolish to be passive about who, Lord willing, they are going to marry, who will be the father of their children, and who they will spend the rest of their lives with. And it would greatly limit their choices if they were passive and married the first guy that came along and was interested.

    Although He was speaking of a different context, I think Jesus’ instruction to be “wise as serpents and innocent as doves” in Matthew 10:16 applies in this context as well.

    As long as they also maintain their innocence, I think that girls and guys should both be wise in identifying ideal characteristics for a spouse, searching for candidates with those characteristics, and pursuing the right candidate.

    …but those are just my thoughts. what do you think?

    Comment by bigham | June 24, 2008 | Reply

  3. I understand that issue was not the main point. But my thoughts are that it is biblical for a man to seek a wife (Proverbs 18:22, Genesis 2:24) and for the woman to be devoted to training to becoming the best mother and wife, instead of seeking a husband. And I do know of a couple of families in which the father is very active in what young man courts his daughter. Their basic views are that the young man has no (or at least minimal) emotional bonding with his daughter until he has shown himself to be a man of godly character and has approached the father to ask permission. This type of arrangement allows the father to weed out little boys who would only bring harm to his daughter, and allows his daughter not to be distracted in her preparation for marriage.

    I realize that this scenario is very idealistic. And I understand that many times the father (if present at all) takes very passive role in finding a husband for his daughter. And I am still forming my opinion on such situations. But from what I have seen women in general are far too active when it comes to seeking a mate. I am not saying they should be ignorant, and marry the first guy that came along that was interested. But I believe they should be more passive in the pursuit of a man, know what a godly man looks like, and trust God’s sovereignty in the matter.

    Comment by Nathan Hutain | June 24, 2008 | Reply

  4. Totally agreed. I think that you are arguing from the Biblical high ground, here, and that the real issue is that we need to do a better job of training our daughters to be properly sought after, training our sons to properly seek, and being more involved parents in the process.

    And as we seek spouses ourselves, we should take the path that you have mentioned here- not getting emotionally involved until we have the green light from her father to do so.

    That is what the book that I mentioned was arguing, and I think that, although I agreed with him, I set his ideas aside because they are unrealistic in the world that I have seen. You might be interested in reading the book, it is “Her Hand in Marriage” by Douglas Wilson.

    Since his ideas were Biblical, I should heed them rather than discard them as I did, and I should do the same with your words of wisdom. Thank you for your input!

    Comment by bigham | June 25, 2008 | Reply

  5. “we need to do a better job of taining our daughters . . .”

    Wait . . . is there something that you need to tell us, Dad?

    Comment by Billy Newhouse | June 26, 2008 | Reply

  6. Billy, I am glad that you finally acknowledge my status as your “daddy.” Now if I can just get you to obey my authority!

    Figuratively, we as a society need to train our children better is what I meant. As a Ross King song states, if we don’t give people answers, then they are going to go somewhere else for them.

    If parents do not instruct their children, then “our” children (as in the children of our society, Billy) will go to other places- such as tv, movies, celebrities, etc.- for their answers. Silence on these matters is an answer- and that answer is “go somewhere else to get your answers.”

    Comment by bigham | June 26, 2008 | Reply

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