“I’m Gonna Start a Church and Preach”
I’m gonna start a church and preach,
Although I’m not ready to teach.
Much more training would be preferred,
Before I tried to preach the Word.
But that’s okay, it’ll come with time.
Who needs the Word? I will be fine.
I’ll tune my public speaking skills,
And I will learn how to close deals.
If you want decisions for Jesus,
I’m just the man fit to lead us.
If they don’t like Him, I’ll change Him,
Bend and sculpt and rearrange Him.
Or better, I’ll just leave Him out,
Then they will like Him, there’s no doubt.
I’ll tell them God wants them to be
Happy, healthy, and rich like me.
You left your wife for this one, sir?
God loves you both, both you and her.
Ma’am, you say your husband left you?
You should not let that upset you.
You were raped? Well don’t get mad,
Cause God wants us all to be glad.
God wants us happy, don’t you see?
He wants us happy, you and me.
What’s that? You say that can’t be true?
Cause all God does is make you blue?
Your problem, then, is faith you lack.
Have more faith and you’ll get on track.
If you but have great faith like mine,
You’ll see the blessings in no time.
This is what we’ll tell the people,
We’ll have thousands under our steeple.
Cause this will work, just give it time.
What I don’t know I’ll find online-
Just go to Google and hit “search,”
I don’t need God to build a church.
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