Eyes That See

“I Once Was Blind”

My “decision to follow Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior”

I was given another opportunity to share my story- as part of a seminary application- so I decided to copy and paste it here.  A lot of it is the same as some previous posts, but I don’t get tired of telling the story, and I hope that some of you don’t get tired of reading it! 

I was raised in a Christian home, and baptized when I was about 6.  I started having questions and doubts about my faith towards the end of high school, and about midway through my freshman year I stopped believing.  Until that point, Christianity was really all I knew, and I had been trying to do the things that I thought Christians were supposed to do.  I was struggling with some of the temptations of the world, and isolating all of my questions, doubts, and sins.
My faith was based on what my family had taught me and what I had learned in church my whole life, and it was largely based on the fact that the rest of my family believed.
Because I isolated everything that I was going through, I struggled through a lot of lonely battles and lonely failures.  And because my faith was based on other believers and the church that I was a member of, when my lonely battles and lonely failures led me to question my faith, I looked to other believers and to the church.
I wrongly attributed the problems that I saw in other believers and in the church to Christianity as a whole, and used those problems to justify my unbelief.

I was not happy with my Christianity, and thought that non-Christians were happier.  I thought that the “other” life was better.  So the first step in my conversion, I believe, was when God pursued me and showed me that the Christian life really is better than the “other” life.  God opened my eyes to the fact that the things that the Bible calls sins are for the most part distortions of good gifts that God has given us.  God does not want us to avoid sin without reason, and He does not want to take the joy out of our lives by instructing us to avoid certain things.  He wants us to avoid sins because they are distortions of His good gifts, and because we find the most joy in using His gifts the way that He intended for us to use them, while acknowledging Him as the Creator and Giver of all.

But that was not the end of my conversion.  At that point, I was content to strive for a life with Christian virtues, but without the Christ.  And I had identified the Christian girl as the kind of girl that I wanted to pursue and marry, and the kind of girl that I wanted to be the mother of my children.  But, I was content to marry a Christian girl and even go to church without believing if I had to, for the sake of having a virtuous wife and virtuous children.

Then I moved to Houston in February.  When I moved to Houston, I had a lot of conversations with my brother, Dr. Jim Hamilton.  He shared the gospel with me, and always had Biblical examples to back up everything that he had to say.  He gave me a Biblical case for the resurrection of Jesus.  I kept this from him, but the only defense that he left me with was that the Bible was not credible.  Somewhere along that time, I remember standing in my brother’s kitchen alone thinking over my beliefs, when my heart was pierced with the awareness that I had been using God-given wisdom to justify away God.  I remembered praying for the wisdom of Solomon when I was young, and had the thought: what if God had answered that prayer, given me wisdom, and I had used God-given wisdom to justify away God.

Then, a coworker gave me a copy of Lee Stroblel’s “The Case for Christ.”  Without the string of events that took place in my life before I was given that book, I would have either not ever read the book or I would have rejected it from the start and read it opposed to every word.  But those things had happened in my life prior to reading the book, so I read it with at least a slightly open mind to the possibility that my beliefs were wrong.  Strobel’s book convinced me of the credibility of the Bible, which in turn gave credibility to my brother’s Biblical argument for Jesus’ resurrection.

So then I had nowhere to go.  I was convinced, at first reluctantly, that Jesus really did conquer the worldly confines of death, proving that He really was the Son of God and really is the King of the universe.  I was reluctant because I knew that some things in my life, things that I didn’t want to give up, were going to have to change.  Time has turned reluctance into joy, as I am convinced more and more that God wants what is best for us.  This does not mean that we are promised any level of prosperity by worldly measures, only that regardless of what circumstances bring, our hope, joy, and satisfaction can always be found in the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

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December 10, 2007 - Posted by | Uncategorized

4 Comments »

  1. Heaven rejoices, David, at the change in your heart. How it must please God that while he pursues you still, you now pursue him in return in a true, loving, and fulfilling relationship. Such a fantastically awesome, scary, and wonderful journey we share: a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

    Comment by kpauly | December 11, 2007 | Reply

  2. “Time has turned reluctance into joy, as I am convinced more and more that God wants what is best for us.”

    –That is my favorite sentence. Brother, what a joy to see what God has done in your life! It’s a joy to walk alongside you.

    TC

    Comment by mercyswimming | December 12, 2007 | Reply

  3. i want to walk in my saviors’ footsteps, but i dont know how. I want to be in a relationship with God as my savior, my hero, my father and as my best friend. If someone is reading this…. Please help me. My e-mail addres are- riaan@ocean-freight.co.za. Hope to hear from someone! Thanx to all for reading this! God bless! Riaan Joubert- South Africa

    Comment by Riaan Joubert- South Africa | July 14, 2008 | Reply

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